Beating a Troll 101

Troll

Because of who I am, I have put up with “trolling” my entire life.  Not only on the internet, but I put up with being picked on through school and… well, pretty much my whole life.  (I pretty much clump trolls and bullies into the same group because they are both after the same thing.)  I’m a big guy, I wear glasses, I am no Fabio and so I always had to deal with it.  Well, I am here to tell you the best way to handle the trolls.

1. Avoid Bridges

Insert cliche joke here.

2. Don’t Feed the Trolls

This is probably the most known rule when it comes to dealing with trolls.  They are just like cats or children.  If you feed them, they will keep coming back.  If you happen to encounter a troll, don’t get angry at them.  They don’t see or think very well so if you keep quiet and don’t give them the attention they want, they will generally leave you alone and find someone else to bother.

3. Agree

This is probably the LEAST known rule when it comes to dealing with trolls.  Many trolls are just far too persistent to give up with they are not fed.  Sometimes they have troll schmoozers who will laugh at what they say, so they will continue just to get the laughs.  Remember, what they want is attention.

Now, it may sound strange to agree with a troll, but I’ve found it is sometimes the best thing to do.  If you happen across a persistent troll who will not leave you alone (and you don’t feel like leaving) you should agree with what they say.  If they call you fat, you should say something like, “Man, you should have seen me a month ago, I weighed like 30 pounds more.”  If they tell you about various things that you have had intercourse with, let them know which one worked better for you.  Maybe recommend a few other things that you’ve tried.

The point is, trolls want you to get angry (read: feeding) at them and try and fight back.  It gives them more ammunition to use against you.  If you are doing the opposite and aiding them in their quest to demean you, they will often give up.  This is a tactic I’ve used quite often and it has been pretty successful.  If they don’t think they are tearing you down and making you upset, it is no fun to them.

4. Don’t Troll Them

This one goes along with #1 above, but it bears some attention.  If the above tactic of agreeing works for you, and they give up, don’t move into their position.  I’ve seen plenty of times when people will “win” against a troll and as soon as the troll is done, the person who won will start attacking the troll.  This will almost always lead to 1) the troll starting up again and 2) you looking like an ass.  If you are able to beat a troll, take the victory in humble quietness.

5. Don’t Take it to Heart

And now for the biggest rule.  Don’t take anything they say to heart.  I had a hard time when I was younger when people would make fun of me.  I felt stupid, ugly, hated and sometimes felt like I had nobody to turn to.  But I quickly got over that when I realized that trolls generally do this because they have plenty of their own issues.  Just remember, no matter what may be wrong with you, at least you aren’t a troll.

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4 Responses to “Beating a Troll 101”

  1. This should be taught in school, because from personal experience what schools do now don’t work.

    • The hard part is making sure you don’t have a violent bully… if you don’t do what they want, they may just turn to violence. That’s where I didn’t have many problems since I was so big. But yeah, whatever they teach in school doesn’t work well. I never was taught anything about bullies when I was in school.

  2. […] do chat-rooms do about trolls? By erasmid Experienced users feel we oughtn’t feed the trolls, but sometimes, really, they go too far.  This is one […]

  3. […] You can read the entire post at:  Eric Dyer’s Blog The Big Nut, “Beating a Troll 101” […]

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