Stuff Hated And Tolerated List – Episode 2

NOT a conference room...

As usual, I am preemptively dodging ridicule by stating that I don’t want to offend anyone with this.  It’s my opinion and you don’t have to agree.  If you DO this, that doesn’t mean I hate you.  But on today’s SHAT List, I will be discussing one of the things I hate the most, but put up with almost on a daily basis.

“Hey, it’s uncomfortable in here and you’re pants are undone, let’s talk.”

This has probably happened to every person at one time or another.  You’re in the restroom at work.  You are minding your own business and doing your own thing.  Suddenly, your coworker walks through the door.  Fine, whatever, no more humming-that-song-that-I-can’t-remember-but-keeps-getting-stuck-in-my-head.  You are about to finish up when said person steps up next to you to start their centerfold pose and turns his head to you.  “Have you seen Joanne’s skirt? Wow, that’s a short skirt.”  Or maybe they decide to continue complaining about their supervisor or the person who shares the cubicle with them.

Really?  You are going to strike up a conversation with me here?  We probably work together anywhere from 24 to 40 hours per week and you pick THIS point in time to talk to me?

I have no problem with others being in the bathroom with me.  I am sure the noises that come from your stall are no different than noises I may make.  I don’t care if someone is standing next to me while I am staring at the tile, but PLEASE do not think that this is the perfect time to get a little one-on-one time.

This has happened to me on multiple occasions at work.  As I said, I don’t hate the people and I am not going to tell them to their face to shut up and talk to me when we’re off the tile, but I don’t understand the mindset of some people.

What’s worse is that I have had this happen a few times in public restrooms with people I don’t know.  While going to a movie by myself one night, I was making room for the $5.00 soda when a guy walked in and took his appointed position.  He then cleared his throat and said, “How’s it hanging?”

Not only did you fail at cliches, you use THAT cliche at that particular moment?  To a total stranger?  But that is not the worst story.  A few years ago I was in my own stall counting the tile on the floor when someone stepped into the stall next to me.  A few moments later, I hear him say, “Hey, how’s the food out there?  We just got here and haven’t sat down yet.  Is it worth it?”

I wanted to grab the toilet from under me and throw it over the stall.  I don’t know you.  I don’t want to know you.  And I REALLY don’t want to know you in the bathroom.

If you learn nothing else from this story, please learn that the bathroom is not the best place to talk to other people.  I am pretty sure that the majority of the male population agrees.  Females – on the other hand – go to the bathroom in troupes anyway.

And probably talk about clothes.


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