Side Effects May Include…

Side Effects

Panic was running amok in the nearby city of Saratoga Springs after a man went to an IHC Instacare Clinic because he was feeling sick and suddenly died.  The man’s home and the clinic were both quarantined for hours to figure out what had happened and if it was dangerous.  While not all information is known, the man was apparently exposed to L-selenomethionine (LSM) at the place where he worked.  LSM is an ingredient used to help lower the mortality rate of some cancers.  So say goodbye to the typical commercials you see on television.

“Take this drug for headache.  Side effects may include nausea, upset stomach, heartburn, indigestion, diarrhea, headaches, urinary tract infections, colon polyps, enlarged penis, shrunken penis, breast tenderness, testicular malformation, anal bleeding and loss of hair.”

You think you got it bad, think about how the guy who has cancer is going to feel.

“I am sorry, sir.  You have cancer.”

“Oh my God, no!”

“There is good news, however.  They have made a drug that can help you live longer and possibly even get rid of the cancer.”

“Why didn’t you say so?”

“The bad news is, there are some side effects.”

“I can handle some cramping or nausea or something, no problem.”

“No, sir.  The uh… side effects of this pill is death.”

“…”

Yeah, you go drug industry.

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